It seemed like a good idea at the time.

There are times when you're busting for a crafty hand job that a thing called life just gets in the way and things don't go entirely to plan. In fact, they not only don't go to plan, they turn to shit in a heartbeat. Here are a couple of occasions when it all went completely tits up.

You sometimes have to take a guy's sex stories with a generous pinch of salt, but for this one, you might need the entire salt cellar. One guy claims to have decided to start masturbating almost as soon as his wife and her friend walked out the door to go shopping. Now this in itself is an extreme high risk strategy. Have you ever known a woman not to forget something just as soon as she climbs in the car? Of course not. But this chump trusted that his wife and/or her friend would have forgotten nothing. How wrong he was.

Moments after they left he was butt naked watching porn, all lubed up and ready to go. Suddenly, the door flew open; his wife and her friend had indeed inevitably forgotten something. To his amazement both of them asked if they could join his male masturbating session. They masturbated him to a deeply satisfying conclusion, and then they all went out shopping together. This of course is completely unbelievable. What guy would accompany two women to go shopping?

The second story is much more believable, because it shows how forgetful and dumb men can be when in porn mode. This student had obviously left his brains back home or more likely in his underpants. He was on a webcam with his girlfriend across State. A male friend who lived across campus called to say that his PC was down -- he wanted this guy to look up some information for him on the Web. After giving his friend the required information, he went down the hall. Time passed, he got into a conversation or two and returned to his room. He started doing what a lot of guys do - surfing some internet porn. Within minutes he was enjoying a solo monkey spank. Suddenly his enjoyment was jarred by the ringing of the phone. It was his girlfriend, "Are we having fun yet?" she said, sarcastically. He suddenly realized. He had forgotten to shut down his webcam.

Finally, for our third story, this is why bashing the bishop can be so incredibly dangerous for teenagers still at home. One kid was lying in bed before getting up, massaging an impressive hard on. Suddenly his dad entered the room in a furious hurry to find the phone. The kid pretended to be asleep so his dad wouldn't suspect that there was furtive activity beneath the sheets. Assuming, that as usual the kid was hiding the phone, dad grabbed for the only bulge he could see. "Dad! That's not the freakin' phone!" the kid yelled. Father and son avoided each other for the rest of the day.

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